Driving Nowhere

originally published 10/3/2023

      So between my heart wanting to explode, an ongoing bizarre electrical bill saga, and the nationwide prescription shortage… I randomly stumbled into cooking as a rather relaxing and affordable hobby to distract myself from reality. If you can assemble a lego set, you’re totally capable of doing this too. Kitchen gadgets are a scam and if you clean while you cook it’s actually quite relaxing. Keep your station clear! 

A good knife, cheap utensils/measuring/etc., and a few pots/pans are all ya need. Ingredients are cheap and this honestly ends up feeling like a cheat code to life when eating out is soooo expensive… and it doesn’t hurt to boost your confidence a bit with this kind of life skill.

The apron/chef hat isn’t necessary, but adds to the experience.

      One roadblock to cooking I didn’t anticipate: having to hear every single persons life story before they hand over their recipe. The anti social part of me feels this is a very hostile transaction, especially if the resulting food is mid at best. If your recipe is preceded by three hundred words of bullshit, then these cookies better be fucking amazing.

This is directed to every recipe submission on the internet:  I don’t give a damn if your “hubby” loves this recipe. And I don’t believe you when you say you eat it all the time. This recipe takes an hour of prep and an hour to cook. And it has obscure ingredients that spoil quickly. Just say it tastes good and you make it sometimes when you feel like it. Don’t lie to me, Margret.

-K